Michaella sent this one over to me, James. You've set out the frustrations and flaws of apps very well. I was nodding a lot, particularly at the etiquette part. Ghosting or laying down these "swipe left if" orders, as if it's more about girl boss flexing or extreme time management than finding a partner.
Look, I think the reality has become clear for most of us. A dating app provides too many opportunities for someone to reject you without really knowing you (preferences > flags). It flattens our existence to a crude profile, limits our personality to a few words you may or may not be able to hear.
Then there's the high levels of screen fatigue and app fatigue, also. The window to make an impression is ever diminishing as is the receptivity of the other person.
There was a brilliant article at the end of last year asking why friendships feel like admin? Well, dating now also feels like admin. A lot us, particularly Gen Z, are over it and prefer to just focus on self-care or invest in friendships.
I am more than my ethnicity, height, profession, favourite meal and all that stuff. It's the blend. It's all about the IRL experience.
Time to just bowl up to more people and roll the dice. Have fun doing what you like to do, which is when most of us are at our most attractive, then look up and see who's around. Talk to more (hot) strangers. Your approach may be more refreshing simply because you have stepped up.
Let's switch the focus from checklist and criteria to finding a connection through random conversation. A note to self, if anything.
This is brilliant, James! Witty, well written and brilliantly honest. Laughed out loud at ‘is it Jacob Elordi’s fault’!
Also we have similar brains. I have a draft with the exact same name sitting waiting to be completed in my iPhone notes about finding love outside of the apps. You should claim copyright.
Very good James, the best written yet
Michaella sent this one over to me, James. You've set out the frustrations and flaws of apps very well. I was nodding a lot, particularly at the etiquette part. Ghosting or laying down these "swipe left if" orders, as if it's more about girl boss flexing or extreme time management than finding a partner.
Look, I think the reality has become clear for most of us. A dating app provides too many opportunities for someone to reject you without really knowing you (preferences > flags). It flattens our existence to a crude profile, limits our personality to a few words you may or may not be able to hear.
Then there's the high levels of screen fatigue and app fatigue, also. The window to make an impression is ever diminishing as is the receptivity of the other person.
There was a brilliant article at the end of last year asking why friendships feel like admin? Well, dating now also feels like admin. A lot us, particularly Gen Z, are over it and prefer to just focus on self-care or invest in friendships.
I am more than my ethnicity, height, profession, favourite meal and all that stuff. It's the blend. It's all about the IRL experience.
Time to just bowl up to more people and roll the dice. Have fun doing what you like to do, which is when most of us are at our most attractive, then look up and see who's around. Talk to more (hot) strangers. Your approach may be more refreshing simply because you have stepped up.
Let's switch the focus from checklist and criteria to finding a connection through random conversation. A note to self, if anything.
Hi Amar, glad you liked it! Absolutely agree about it feeling like admin. Just another chore.
Again , excellent writing. So honest , so enlightening and to be honest rather moving. Love you James Fullbrook x
Thanks Kate, love you too x
This is brilliant, James! Witty, well written and brilliantly honest. Laughed out loud at ‘is it Jacob Elordi’s fault’!
Also we have similar brains. I have a draft with the exact same name sitting waiting to be completed in my iPhone notes about finding love outside of the apps. You should claim copyright.
Ahh thanks, a hard one to judge tonally! Hahah I knew I couldn’t be the only one to have thought of it.